


so love me, just like this

by heartrecord



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, but it's mostly fluffy this time, everyone say choi soobin best bf, i think, kind of angsty on taehyun's end, no i didn't self project onto taehyun haha...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27951755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartrecord/pseuds/heartrecord
Summary: in which taehyun thinks too much, but at the end of the day soobin is always there to be his anchor.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	so love me, just like this

here’s what kang taehyun thinks about quite often; he is just another speck in this universe that knows no end. 

this is a thought he’s taken a liking to among the less pleasant ones. after all, his mistakes would mean nothing, his downward spirals would be forgotten and his decisions wouldn’t leave a real impact on the world. being reduced to nothing but another relatively meaningless particle among a sea of others is comforting somewhat. 

soobin, however. in the rare moments where taehyun would talk about it, soobin would interject with “you’re not a speck taehyun, you’re a human like everyone else”, the corners of his lips turned down in a frown. and, well. he’s right. but sometimes taehyun feels like he wants to stop existing as a human for a while, during the days where the weight of the world feels too much. 

he’s often thought about how nice it would be if the world could just be put on pause, even if just for a little while. just enough for taehyun to be able to sit down and catch his breath and prevent himself from giving in to this ugly feeling where he feels like he’s drowning and can’t seem to get his head above water. he’s pretty sure he’s been doing this more often lately, slowly cracking under the pressure of studies and club activities and the need to prove to everyone that he isn’t a disappointment. 

_ you’re not a disappointment  _ is what soobin always tells him, and he means it, taehyun knows he does. but as unwaverable as taehyun might seem on the surface, he has trouble believing in himself too sometimes; has his doubts on whether he’s as capable as everyone else makes him out to be. 

so that thought about him being a speck? one that would mean he’s invisible from the perspective of others looking up at the sky and the clouds and the sun and the moon? yeah, it’s pretty grounding really. 

but there are moments, very few and far in between, where taehyun feels like he’s become a little bit larger than life. moments like right now, where soobin is wrapping a scarf around his neck, reprimanding him about forgetting it yet again. “you’re gonna catch a cold at this rate, geez…” 

taehyun only smiles apologetically, and even though soobin is going on a full on rant about the importance of taking care of his health especially during this weather, he can’t help but feeling impossibly _ fond _ . 

no one’s ever really cared like this before, not as genuinely and earnestly as soobin does. he’s yet to get used to it. he doesn’t know if he ever will, if he’s being honest.

_ you could have anyone you wanted _ , taehyun often thinks when he’s left to stare at soobin freely while he’s working on something, the older always too immersed to notice. and it’s true. choi soobin is the living epitome of what anyone would want in a person; caring, hardworking, earnest, empathic. taehyun could go on and on, that’s how wonderful soobin is. not to mention with how good looking he is, soobin had most everyone on campus falling head over heels for him.

he’d never told soobin this directly, of course. if he did, the older would just make a face and say he was exaggerating. 

_ why’d you settle for me? _ is another thing he thinks about. what did soobin see in him that compelled the older to choose taehyun over everyone else? no matter how much he tries to make it make sense in his head, he finds that he just can’t. because taehyun is just… taehyun. he’s hardly anything special, even though his achievements try to tell him otherwise. 

“taehyun, are you listening?” 

soobin’s voice jolts him out of his thoughts, brings him back down to earth. the older is still frowning, though it’s more out of concern now. “is everything okay? you’ve just been staring at me.” 

taehyun doesn’t know what possessed him in that moment to make him pull soobin down and press their lips together. maybe it’s because his mind is just too noisy sometimes and he just wants to silence it, prove it wrong. maybe it’s because soobin is right here, lovely, caring soobin, looking otherworldly even with his messy hair and glasses sliding down his nose. 

and maybe it’s because there’s this sensation settling in his chest, one that makes him feel more alive than he’s felt in a long time. a sensation he only ever feels whenever he’s with soobin. whatever the reason is, it makes taehyun want to kiss him. so he does. 

soobin’s noise of surprise is muffled by the press of their mouths against each other. kissing soobin always makes taehyun feel like he’s being warmed from the inside out, which shouldn’t be possible if they were all just specks in the universe. 

but that’s because choi soobin can’t be classified as a speck. he’s something greater. soobin deserves to be the sun and the moon and stars all at once. taehyun is dating someone who is a far cry from what he deserves (which isn’t much in his opinion), he knows this. 

and yet here he is, hands fisting themselves in soobin's collar, pressing kiss after kiss onto his lips like he is the oxygen that taehyun needs to breathe. maybe he wants to let himself believe, just for a moment, that he does deserve this. that he deserves everything that comes with being the person standing by soobin’s side. 

“hey,” soobin manages to breathe against his lips. one of his arms have wrapped themselves around taehyun’s waist. “taehyun. stop thinking so much.” this makes taehyun pause, pulling back just slightly to blink at him. soobin sighs softly, rubs his thumb against taehyun’s cheek. 

“you only ever do things abruptly like that when you’re worrying about something,” he says. “i don’t know what it is, but try not to, okay?” 

sometimes, taehyun wonders if soobin can read minds. he wouldn’t be surprised if that turned out to be true. “sorry,” he mumbles. then quietly, he adds “love you, hyung.” soobin is silent for a moment, before he huffs out a laugh. “i love you too,” he answers, and it’s the way he says it, gentle and kind and honest, that makes taehyun feel so very warm. 

taehyun’s okay with being just a speck in this vast universe, really he is. 

but when he’s with soobin, he thinks that maybe, just maybe -

he could stand to be a little more than that. 

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting in my drafts for a few months now so i figured why not post it? as always, comments are always appreciated. i love hearing what you guys think! 
> 
> thank you for reading, i hope you have a day as lovely as you are <3


End file.
